Moon falling

I was hurting today boys and girls not in a physical sense but in an emotional sense, you see I started my late shifts today and remain on them for the rest of the week; and as comes with working late it means my baby and I are apart, and we'll probably remain that way until Friday, until weekend. I know at the very least I've got something to work towards, something to look forward to because we'll have all weekend together and to be honest I was doing so well.......

Late starts usually make me grouchy, not only because I know my baby and I will be apart, but also because by the time I get to work everyone else is in and the day's in full swing; there's normally no time for me to ease gently into the day, I need to ease gently into the day regardless of the time, I'm very, very delicate at that time! This morning though was cool, I had the time to ease gently into the swing of things and to find my feet, I couldn't believe my luck to be honest and it saw me in a good mood for the majority of the day. I say majority because my working day didn't end in the same vain unfortunately, no one upset me and nothing went wrong, in fact I wasn't really upset at all but I was hurting inside. You see come late afternoon the weather brightened up a treat, the clouds cleared, the sun shone and it really did get rather warm - it was a beautiful late afternoon, come early evening. I headed upstairs for my final break, at a time I'd have been heading home if I was on early's and it was then it hit me and I just couldn't get the thoughts out of my head. It was such a beautiful evening and there I was stuck in work, away from my baby; the things we could have done if I'd have been going home - it was a perfect evening to spend with my baby, a perfect evening for a stroll together or even just sat out in the garden together. It hurt, I kid you not it hurt so much, for a while I kind of despised my job for keeping my baby and I apart, for watching an evening so beautiful waste away and yes, it made me emotional.

I phoned my baby up, he'd just finished for the day and was making his way home; I told him not to waste the evening as it was so beautiful, I told him I loved him so much and that I missed him terribly. He kind of knew, sorry - he just knew that there was something wrong so I just told him whilst apologising at the same time, I didn't want to make him feel bad or anything, not that it's his fault that I found myself stuck in work. My baby he just understands me so well, even when silly things flip my world for good or bad; he understands, he empathises, he puts my mind at ease and he thinks so positively. My baby had me smiling and laughing come the end of the conversation, he helps me, no matter how silly I am, he takes my hand, picks me up and cheers me up; he also reminded me to send him a photo of his flowers...........

My baby asked me last night to send him a photo of his flowers each day we're apart, so he could see how they're progressing and so he didn't miss them; it hit me hard when he asked me, I just thought it was such a beautiful sentiment - he absolutely adores them. He made me promise to look after them, water them (which I've done tonight baby) and I've even talked to them - I told them not to worry or miss my baby too much because he'll be back to look after them in no time. I owe it to my baby, it's what he would do, so I'm doing exactly the same; besides I want them to be as healthy and happy when my baby's back with me - they make him smile, I always want to see my baby smiling.

Talking of last night we sat outside in the garden until late again, it appears the best parts of the day weather wise of late are evening into night where it brightens up and warms up before fading into a mild night. It just felt so special probably because we both knew it was our last night together for a while and more than ever we savoured every moment; in particular I became real kind of emotional in a good way - I needed lots of hugs and kisses, I got lots of hugs and kisses and they made me go all girly. We sat drinking Brandy and watched a low moon, so bold and so bright crawl across the sky; it looked so big and so close. I told my baby it looked too heavy for the sky, like it would fall to the ground and it someways it did - it painted the ground in a ghostly light. Our evenings are filled with such magic, it's no wonder I miss them and they're not even remotely the same when I find myself alone. I miss the magic and I miss my baby because it's my baby that brings such times alive; I love to feel alive, I love to feel loved and I love my baby so much xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox.