Shine

It always happens doesn't it? I mean you can always guarantee that when I need my baby after having a particularly bad day we won't be together because work keeps us apart. We were together for nigh on two weeks and those two weeks were so relaxing and blissful - everything both in and outside of work was pretty much perfect. The first night we're apart and it all falls to pieces, you really couldn't script it any better; not that either of us really want to script any bad times or unhappiness. That said, I am guilty of being somewhat of a drama queen in reference to it all falls apart, it really wasn't that bad..............

I don't know, work really wasn't that bad and no one in particular has upset me - I wasn't feeling upset; there just seemed to be a great deal of negativity in the air and I mean serious negativity. I guess it's the flip side of the coin in some respects because I am very sensitive to such feelings around me; thankfully for the most part I feel the positivity and I do genuinely feed off that positive energy. But today, it's been non stop negativity, like a heavy shroud hanging over my head and it's not my negativity but the air of it surrounding me - does that make sense? I could feel it, it was so heavy and I tried my best to fight it but eventually it got to me slightly - it kind of tainted my day a little and I ended up feeling negative myself; and it showed, I don't hide my feelings well at all.

There was lots of stuff going on that contributed to this, it wasn't any one major thing but lots of little things, still you add them up and they all equate the same. I guess what made it worse was the fact that I've been chained to my desk more than I like the past week or so - I abhor being chained down, I'm a free spirit and it just feels like my wings have been clipped. And with being stuck to my desk I was unable to get out and about, to find some breathing space and some time to clear my head and escape the negativity. I handled myself very well, I didn't let myself go too much and as soon as I felt I couldn't take any more I got up and went out, disregarding whatever crap that needed to be done in the office. Still it was a crap day and I was in desperate need of a familiar, friendly face to comfort me and more importantly someone with a positive outlook on life to help me forget all the negativity that surrounded me. Despite returning to an empty home my salvation was only a phone call away................

Gosh how I love my baby, within seconds of phoning him and as soon as I heard his voice all my troubles disappeared, seriously they melted away. It was all I needed - his familiar voice, his non judgemental ear and his words of comfort and advice; I just needed to get the negativity out of my system and it worked. As mentioned, I wasn't upset or anything like that, I guess I just needed re-energising, to have some distraction for my thoughts and feelings, and to have someone make me laugh. My baby did it all, we talked about my day and how it had affected me but within minutes we were talking about something completely different and we were laughing. It was like a breath of fresh air, like the sunshine breaking through the clouds on a grey overcast day and warming the soul - it was such a relief.

I said somewhere on here that if I shine brightly it's because of the love that has been bestowed upon me - it's nothing but the truth; but somehow today whilst away from my baby I lost that light. It's not a coincidence that tonight he made me shine again..........