More than

There's one golden rule when you're my personal friend boys and girls; and one that is widely accepted and well known - never, ever ring me or text me after I've had a drink. Not because I get aggressive or anything but because alcohol makes my tongue loose, very loose and the subjects that thus spurn from my mouth are far from child friendly to say the least. After a few beers there's a familiar trend to my conversations, they all revolve around sex and I'm not shy in dispensing with the details - admittedly it's normally what my baby and I perceive to be very funny, but to some I'm sure it could, would and has caused offence! To put it in perspective, if you find some of the stuff I post on here objectionable or somewhat offensive; then never speak to me if you see me in a pub or club - NEVER! As shameful as this may be my Mother has even found this out to her cost, I know there's some subjects you shouldn't share with your Mum - such as the awesome sex life my baby and I have; it's a good job my Mum has an open mind and attitude to my sexuality. That said, and this is going to make it sound even worse, I think you should be able to talk to your Mum about such things, seriously; I mean your Mum's you're best friend right? You should be able to talk to her about anything and share all the good moments of your life; perhaps with slightly less detail but let's not hide the truth - I have lots of top quality sex with my boyfriend, my Mum now knows this, it makes me happy so I'm sure it makes my Mum happy. My baby's just being mocking the situation at hand, in a high pitched kind of girly voice (he sounded like the Queen to be honest) he said, my son's just had his arse shagged to ribbons by his boyfriend - I'm so happy for him; it was monumentally funny and we've not even had a drink yet, you see what I mean?

So last night, my baby took me for a few beers to celebrate my birthday, it was nothing major because we we're both working today. Still it was a wonderful evening and I think it was even better because it was low key - despite finding ourselves in Straightville, we just felt so together, it really was a beautiful feeling. We went to the Old Rectory and it was real quiet, almost eerily so but it just made it all the better, there were no distractions and no over the top, silly drunken antics. And although we couldn't show our true feelings for one another as we would in the gay village, we still managed to hold hands most of the night and share a kiss or two or three or four. Towards the end of the night I received a text - you know where this is going now right? That's right down into the gutter! It started off innocently enough, an enquiry as to what I received for my birthday and it specifically stated barring the obvious - it was some one that knew me and knew what I'm like! Somehow, somewhere amongst the ensuing text exchange I propositioned a girl to join my baby and I for sex, propositioned a guy I don't even know to join my baby and I for sex, enthused over the joys of anal sex and told them to go get lots of cock.; as previously stated I'm nothing if not forthcoming after alcohol consumption! My baby thought I was taking it too far, he was telling me stop being so gross whilst he was laughing at my texts it has to be noted, but it was a fair point actually, I was becoming gross - until one of the reply texts stopped us both dead in our tracks. Now as said the pub was real quiet but all that changed upon receipt of this particular text, it had us in total and utter fits of laughter, we just weren't prepared in any way, shape or form for it; it was a shock and hit us both out of the blue. There was me getting told off by my baby for being too gross and well, it made my texts seem positively innocent but it was just so funny and my baby said the look on my face was an absolute picture. I don't doubt him for a second, it took the wind right out of my sails, we were still talking and laughing about it all the way home; and when we did get home we practiced what we were being preached for a second time. In more ways than one last night I got more than I bargained for............