I don't think so love

We almost didn't go out last night, not because we didn't want to and not because we spent all our money shopping, it was nothing like that. It was because I took absolutely ages to get ready and again not because I couldn't decide what to wear but because I was trying to apply my new make up range. When Rach did it for me she took about five minutes and made it look so easy, I was stood in front of the bathroom mirror for at least 30 minutes last night; it's not easy, it's ridiculously difficult. I don't understand why it's so difficult because it shouldn't be, but it is, for me anyway, even my baby had a go with the eyeliner and it looked stupid and messy.

I ended up looking like a car crash, no joke, instead of highlighting my eyes it looked like I'd not slept for a week - it's a mighty fine job we both saw the funny side of our failed attempts at hollywood glamour. I was trying to go the whole hog - concealer, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara and lip gloss; the only things that worked out were the concealer, mascara and lip gloss; the rest was a shambles. I need to get lots more practice in, either that or get a make up artist to help me look beautiful for my baby. That said, the latter very nearly came true, I guess I should be careful what I wish for............

Anyway we eventually left for the gay village, we walked out the front door and we both thought we'd lost the ability to see; a real dense fog had descended, we were like where's this come from? After a beautiful warm, sunny day it was the last thing we were expecting to see and we'd been so busy getting ready that it really did come as a surprise - we walked out and there it was! We went to the Spirit bar and had a glorious night singing, dancing, drinking, talking and laughing; laughing especially although it's a shame the joke ended up on us. There was this proper gay-boy stood at the bar - you could just tell from looking at him, admittedly he was in a gay bar which helped but still, if you saw him out on the streets you'd just know. I mean he was wearing a pair of jeans ripped to shreds and a white muscle tee - but he was ridiculously thin, why do such people where muscle tees? Anyway, he'd either spent way too long on a sunbed or gone overboard on fake tan; that and he was manicured to perfection - hair, nails, make up, the whole works. He obviously liked to look his best and each to their own - we're not mocking him here, but it just looked so false you know? Whatever, you add the whole combo up and it equals gay to some tune!

So we spot him at the bar and my baby said lets go speak to him you can get some make up tips off him; it was all very much tongue in cheek truth be told and I'd already started laughing when my baby mentioned it. But the next thing I know my baby's walking over to him, he starts talking to him, they both look my way and my baby's motioning me to join them; all the while I'm trying my very best to keep a straight face. Well, this guy he's the campest guy we've ever met - my baby said afterwards he made me seem positively straight! It was all lovey this and darling that but to cut to the chase this guy said oh make up it takes years of practice to get it right - we were getting nowhere fast really. Nowhere fast until he offered to take me back to his place and show me first hand with a promise that he'd make it worth my while! Now I'm kind of guessing that he's a submissive guy and I'm also kind of guessing that he thought I was a dominant top and I guess the offer of doing my make up was just a smoke screen; with all this in mind we'd have both ended up disappointed for various reasons! Not that I would have taken him up on his offer, even if I was single and out on the pull; and not that I had a chance even if I was that way inclined whilst in a relationship.

Because my baby turned to him and said, whilst mimicking his camp voice, I don't think so love, before taking my hand and walking me away out onto the dance floor. When we disappeared safely into the crowd we both collapsed in fits of laughter, it was the last thing we were expecting and my baby's polite put down was just the funniest thing I've heard - he got the guys voice down to a tee. But still we we're both like where did that come from? Perhaps he thought my baby and I were just friends and he was trying to match us up, we honestly don't know. To be on the safe side we spent the remainder of the night making sure everyone knew we were more than just friends, like we need an excuse anyway; still my baby makes me so horny!

I left the bar with the right guy anyway, my baby's the only guy I want and need; I honestly didn't want to let go of his hand all night after that and I don't think I did. He kept me safe, led me straight home and upstairs to the bedroom - he made me feel like no other guy can................