Mr Grumpy

That was me this morning, seriously, I was very grumpy; despite waking up with my baby, despite having awe inspiring sex last night and despite the whole weekend together just starting I still woke up grumpy. Well, I didn't wake up grumpy truth be told, I woke up kind of confused because the house was cold; that's strange I thought because the central heating had been working fine and dandy last night and the timer and thermostat were set correctly. I walked downstairs and checked the boiler it had obviously gone into fault because the on light was flashing and when I pulled the control flap down the reset button was flashing too. I hit the reset button and the boiler fired up again, the ignition light came on and then it made a horrible rattling noise, the ignition light went off and the boiler shut down again. I reset again and exactly the same thing happened - OH SHIT!

My baby called down from the bedroom to ask if everything was alright and well, it wasn't, not in the least. He got out of bed and proceeded down stairs wearing only a pair of loose fitting satin boxer shorts; my attention was diverted away from the boiler problems momentarily because he was a fine sight - the boxers were loose but not too loose and it was a sight, the silky smooth material draping over his bits, how I wished the boiler would suddenly spring back into life again because I so wanted to slide my hands over his satin encased bulge and then some. Damn, he's a cock tease in the finest way possible; no wonder I can never resist his temptation, well not normally but today was the exception. My baby and I were stood there studying the boiler and checking all the connections to it - like we had the faintest clue of what were doing; we've just been laughing so much about it now, in hindsight it's proper funny. Neither of us have any technical knowledge of plumbing or central heating systems and there we were checking connections and putting our fingers where they probably shouldn't have gone, we could have blown ourselves up or got electrocuted - but that's what everyone does isn't it? For about ten minutes we became fully qualified central heating technicians and then reality brought us back down to earth, our attempts at DIY boiler repairs were useless and most probably dangerous; the boiler would still not work and the house was still cold. And why does the boiler or central heating always go wrong in the Winter? Particularly during one of the coldest winters in recent memory, why can't it break down in Summer, I mean you can live without hot water for a while and the central heating isn't needed at all.

I'm just so glad I've got an electric shower, at least we could get clean and have a warm up in the process; it turned the bathroom into a sauna admittedly but that was the least of my worries. I brought out two electric convector heaters from the spare bedroom and put one in the kitchen and one in the lounge thinking we'd be nice and warm in no time at all - wrong! You just don't realise how good and how efficient a central heating system is until you lose it, the two electric heaters were made for warming rooms up, they're not small things but it took absolutely ages to get any kind of warmth downstairs. Breakfast was duly delayed, coffee and cigarettes were duly taken in large doses (my baby just coffee, he's a good boy he doesn't smoke) and I tried to find a number for Eddie the plumber who installed the central heating system a couple of years back. I knew I'd put his details somewhere safe, but I had no idea where the safe place I chose was, my baby said the best place to put such details is in the contacts list on my mobile phone - I had no answer to that one because it's 100% correct. Meanwhile my baby began searching the internet for central heating breakdown plumbers within Stockport; oh my gosh how expensive - we were talking a minimum of £150 with little or no chance of getting a repair until Monday. We started to make contingency plans and relocate to my baby's flat for the rest of the weekend where at least we would be warm when I found Eddies details at the bottom of the tea towel drawer - such an obvious place to look, I don't know why I didn't look there first off! I gave him a call, thinking the phone would be turned off or he'd have changed his number since I last spoke to him, amazingly he answered and even more amazingly he agreed to come out within one hour to try and repair it all for the cost of £60 including the first hour of labour. We celebrated by having breakfast..............

Eddie duly arrived as promised and despite my worst fears that the boiler would need new parts or a circuit board had gone, thus keeping it out of order until the plumbers merchants opened again on Monday, he got it working. The condensation tank had back filled because the drain pipe had frozen up outside; he emptied the tank, refitted it, thawed the drain pipe, cut it back and repositioned it to give it a higher degree of drop to help it stopping freezing again. He drank some coffee, he turned the boiler back on, it fired up and it worked; there was no horrible rattling noise but plenty of hot water and rapidly warming radiators - oh happy days.

We're starting to feel human again, the house is nice and warm, we're both very comfortable and despite it kind of ruining the day - we were going to head into Manchester today, we are both very happy. It's too late to head out now, we may go tomorrow, whatever if I was going to buy anything I'm already £60 lighter but truth be told it was £60 well spent today and a bargain to boot comparatively speaking. It's so warm now my baby has just got changed, he's put his satin boxer shorts back on, oh my gosh he's one sexy, horny boyfriend - the promises of things to come. It's a mighty fine way to spend the remainder of the afternoon, all of a sudden I'm feeling much happier and hornier.........