Desire

You've not missed anything boys and girls since my last post, but I have, oh gosh how I have.......

Work has kept my baby and I apart since Wednesday morning, late finishes followed by early starts and late finishes wiped us out on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday night. I appreciate it's easy for those that don't understand the dynamics to say surely we can see each other after work? Which we could, I mean it's not out of the question by any means, but what it does mean is that we'd have a couple of hours maximum with each other after getting home, showered, changed and having tea. It would all be a huge rush and effort for very little payback; which is not to say that it wouldn't be absolutely fantastic to see my baby, because any time spent with him is a delight but it just wouldn't be quality time. We wouldn't enjoy it the same, as soon as we got settled together the night would be gone; and besides my baby has to sort his own flat out occasionally, he needs some time to do his stuff.

Wednesday and Thursday was cool, I kept the hours I had to myself after work busy but come Friday, oh my gosh, it hit home so hard both day and night - I missed my baby so much. You'd have thought that the closer it got to us being back together the easier it would have been but it wasn't, not by any stretch of the imagination. I sent my baby a text during my lunch break at work on Friday afternoon and I cried, I kid you not, I was sat in the canteen (on my own mercifully) and I cried whilst texting him. It's a good job our breaks didn't match up because if we'd have been talking, well, I think I'd have been in floods of tears. I spent the remainder of my break just staring at his photos on my phone; he's such a beautiful guy and the photo of him on my wallpaper just captures him perfectly - so cute with a mischievous little grin and a glint in his eye. It made me so thankful for what I've got but gosh did it hurt; and perhaps that's the key to our relationship.

Thankfully we get to spend lots of time together and truth be told, work or other commitments do not keep us apart much or often. But when it does for any considerable length of time it does hurt and it makes us both realise what life would be like without each other, seriously it's horrible. That said, we think it's a double edged sword, we never take each other for granted and perhaps that's exactly why, because we cherish each other so much and we don't want to have that feeling of being apart for any longer than necessary. Admittedly, I'm slightly more prone to being emotional during such times and that's why I didn't blog about it until tonight. My baby knows I cry and he knows I'm emotional and sensitive; and he loves that side of me but he doesn't like me blogging about such when we're apart and when he can't be with me to help me through. It upsets him (oh gosh I'm crying - just the thought of my baby being upset has started me off. Just give us a minute.........) and as you've guessed, well there's no need to guess, I hate to see or know my baby is upset; and if the cause of his upset is me that just makes it a million times worse; I only want to see him happy, I only want him to be happy and I only want to protect him from any harm. I just love him to bits, I absolutely adore him xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox.

Not that I hid it from him, we talked about it on the telephone and the text I sent that made me cry was about such feelings too; but then it's just between the two of us and my baby, well, just to hear his voice comforts me and puts me at ease.

Today has found us both working and texting each other throughout, counting down the hours and the minutes until we found ourselves back together again. Being apart maybe the most painful part of our relationship but that first cuddle and kiss when we see each other afterwards is the most sweetest feeling. I didn't want to let go of my baby, I didn't want to stop kissing him and I couldn't stop the tears from falling yet again. Tonight I have someone to hold me tight, tonight I have someone to kiss me, tonight I have someone to dry my tears and turn them into a smile. Tonight I'm with the most beautiful guy in the world, tonight I'm with my boyfriend. Goodnight xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.