Caution flying eyeballs

There's something about doing nothing that means everything, when all's said and done we're just two regular guys, we do regular things, in the grand scheme of things we're not hedonistic by nature, you won't find us out partying every weekend and when we do go out we're very well behaved most of the time. Take last night, a Saturday night, we both have the weekend off and we're together throughout, it was a perfect opportunity to go out and party, to let our hair down and really go for it but we didn't, we stayed in and it was perfect.

We relocated to my baby's flat at about 6 o'clock taking the remainder of the breakfast supplies with us for the following morning; Rach joined us just before 7 o'clock and the night truly began. It started as it continued with much love and laughter, as soon as Rach walked in she gave my baby a hug and a kiss and remarked on how nice he smelt. She then proceeded to give me a hug, a kiss and a telling off for leaving it so long in between visits, I knew the telling off was coming, it always does because I always promise to make the effort to go around more often and it never materialises; it's just work and circumstance, it's nothing personal but we should do it more often because our nights together are such fun. My baby was stood behind Rach mocking me whilst I was getting the third degree, pointing his finger, shaking his head and making silly faces; and I was trying my best not to laugh but I guess she saw me fighting to keep a straight face and without even turning to face my baby told him to stop mocking her because he was as much to blame as I was. That was it, I couldn't hold back the laughter anymore and it just burst out, which in turn started my baby off laughing, I started to scold him - telling him he was a very naughty boyfriend for not bringing me up to see Rach more often and he should take more notice of her. It just made us worse, we were laughing and larking around so much that Rach said she gave up because we're worse than children but did admit that we were very funny and a very bad influence on each other. When the laughing subsided, she cottoned on that we both kind of smelt the same and asked if were wearing the same aftershave or something. Truth be told it wasn't aftershave but we did share a Black Pepper shower after our epic sex session and applied Black Pepper body lotion to each other afterwards; we stocked up again just before Christmas on our Molton Brown favourites. The body lotion is to die for, it just smells and feels divine and really warms the skin; it has to be our number one body product - if you have a special guy in your life and you want him to smell good enough to eat as well as leaving his skin in tip-top condition, that's the product to go for, trust us it's just heavenly. After we applied it to each other after our shower, I just couldn't help but nuzzle up close to my baby and touch and smell his skin; there we were both naked in the bathroom, holding each other close whilst kissing and caressing so gently; it's the most beautiful scent and to combine that with my baby, well it's irresistible, I couldn't help but get up close and personal with him. So I told Rach we were both wearing the same body lotion, that's what the smell was and she remarked that it was just so gay, even by our standards, to be wearing matching body lotion - it was said with a smile on her face but still you know. If we weren't boyfriends it could have given us both a serious complex, instead we laughed some more at her off the cuff comment, which truth be told is very true - matching body lotion, how very gay!

We ordered the pizza, my baby recommended a new one, a sicilian sausage supreme because he said he knew how much I loved sausage which again started us off laughing like schoolboys and again got us both told off by Rach. I made it worse by asking for a large one because that's the only size that fills me up anymore after being with my baby and well, we were literally on the floor in tears of laughter. But we did order a large sicilian sausage supreme along with a large Hawaiian, a large garlic bread with cheese and pepperoni, onion rings, potato wedges, various dips and a tub of coleslaw. It was awesome, a serious feast of the unhealthiest proportions and the pizzas and garlic bread were huge, the large size is like 14" they were mega; and the sicilian sausage was the best pizza I've had in a long time. It was like a spicy, peppery sausage with onions, mushrooms and peppers on a cheese and tomato base, oh my gosh a serious taste sensation; and there we were all slouched out on the sofas picking and sharing from the mountain of food in front of us. It was the tops, we all adore nights like that, we've done it a couple of times before and each time is just so relaxed, no cooking, no plates or cutlery and no washing up; and it shows, you can feel the difference it makes, we all just kicked backed, slouched out and pigged out.

We cleared up, cracked open the beers, turned the lights down low and watched a double bill of horror; Rach had recently picked up the Evil Dead I & II on dvd and we settled down to watch them. I've not seen the movies in years, I mean they're both years old now but they haven't aged and have stood the test of time well; the first one is seriously scary, I forgot how scary it is. My baby's hand got a seriously good work out again, I was holding onto him so tight and it's so gross in parts that I was hiding my head in my baby's shoulder; and there were lots of ughs and oh no's coming from all of us. As daft as it sounds, it's seriously quality entertainment, I mean that's what a horror movie is supposed to do, thrill you, chill you and gross you out - it didn't disappoint. The sequel is just so funny, laced with so much black humour that it had us all in fits of laughter; still kind of gross and scary in parts but even these bits were shot through with humour. The flying eyeball scene is just genius, where the head of the zombie gets stood on and one of it's eyeballs flies out across the room and lands in the open mouth of a screaming woman, so gross and so funny all at the same time, we didn't know whether to be grossed out or to laugh. By this time we were seriously chilled out, my baby and I were lay across the sofa with me lay between his open legs with my back up against his chest - it's our favourite position. I just feel so safe, secure and loved in his arms and my baby can cuddle and kiss me as much as he wants; and he lavishes me with such, he likes to feel me close to him. Besides his hands sometimes slip from my waist and head South to caress other parts of my body; last night they strayed for quite a while and kind of just kind came to rest on my crotch pressing down gently, it was beautiful and we didn't even get told off.

After the movies had finished we just sat about talking, laughing and drinking some more; we'd all had a fair amount to drink, perhaps even more than we have when we go out, we cleared the fridge of beer and felt somewhat drunk. And as happens when you're drunk it kind of loosens the tongue some and any inhibitions are kind of forgotten about, so we found ourselves talking about sex in intimate detail. Oh my gosh, like I need an incentive, like my baby needs an incentive and if you think the stuff I share on here is bad, you should get me drunk and amongst friends that are just as drunk and don't mind the detail. I didn't go too far and we laughed so much at our various experiences, in particular the epic, other worldly sex my baby and I share; where I'm certain I'm going to die during it. But the one thing that really stood out was to get an honest and frank account from a straight female, after all we all share the same sexual desire in men but it's just so entertaining to hear about it from a different point of view; to hear the good and the bad points of getting laid by a straight guy. Suffice to say we aren't going to let Rach forget about her stories for a very long time, each time we get told off in the future for getting too horny with each other or turning the subject into a sexual innuendo we've got the perfect get out of jail free card.

We went to bed at around 1 o'clock this morning, if not later, neither of us can really recall the exact time; Rach was offered the sofa bed to spend the night on but she declined saying she didn't want to be kept awake half the night listening to us shagging; I know she used to be so innocent! Which was a shame really because as it turned out she wouldn't have been, that said she would have been woken by it in the morning............