Strong

I'm tired, dog tired blogger friends; physically, mentally and spiritually tired - I've not felt like this for a very long time, if ever. It's shown too - it's drained me, I lost my sense of humour, I lost my smile, I lost the will to talk to friends (most of them) and I lost my confidence. As a result it made me spectacularly grouchy, moody and sensitive for the latter part of this week but I'm not going to apologise for it - that's me occasionally, I can't change that anymore than I can change my sexuality or the love I feel for a very special cute and sexy guy. And what makes it worse is people going on about my mood like I don't know I'm not my normal happy self - oh I'm grouchy what a surprise! It doesn't help, it never does and neither does the fact that I've not seen my baby since Wednesday morning - I've missed him so much; and not to offload my problems onto although he always encourages me to but to just cuddle up in his arms. You would have no idea what that feels like for me, I don't know, it's the safest and most comfortable place I know; I'm starting to cry, gosh how I've missed that feeling and how I've missed my baby ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡.

But that wait is almost over, he'll be with me soon and as you've probably guessed I can't wait, to be honest it's what's kept me going through the week, the thought of seeing my baby tonight. Through it all it's made me realise, perhaps more than ever, that I'm so fortunate that we've ended up together, that he's my boyfriend; the physical and sexual attraction is quite clear and well documented on here. But, I guess were kind of opposites in many ways, I mean I'm way sensitive - things get to me way too much, particularly the negative stuff and I get moody and withdrawn as result; there's the flip side of the coin which sees me happy, laughing and smiling most of the time but occasionally, well those that know me have seen it. My boyfriend, he's the one with the level head, he's strong willed and strong hearted - he just takes things in his stride and doesn't let things get to him; like this has happened lets sort it out, not dwell on the matter and move on. That's not to say he's the stiff upper lipped kind of guy because he's not, far from it; as a boyfriend he's real loving, caring and sensitive too - unlike a great deal of straight guys!

Maybe that's why we do get on so well, it's certainly the reason why I get on so well with him; more than any other guy I've had a relationship (loose terminology!) with. He's my rock, we share all the good times as I'm sure all couples do but he also wants to share the bad times, my bad times and help sort them out. He's perhaps the only person who I can speak to in comfort when things upset me; he doesn't judge or ridicule me, he helps make sense of the world when I can't and coaxes a smile when I feel like crying. To bare my soul I need that in a boyfriend, I need someone who's strong but not overbearing; I mean strong willed people usually scare me if they're overbearing, I'm way uncomfortable around such people. My baby he just makes up for things I'm not and he does it in the most gentle, caring and loving manner; and he loves me for all the things I am, my effeminate side and even my sensitive side - he loves my sensitive side. Despite the pitfalls he just encourages me to be myself and helps to pick me up when I fall; there's no greater gift than that, that gift is my boyfriend, my very own Mr Strong complete with a heart of gold - I love him to bits xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.