Love

Good evening friends, readers, blogger compatriots and lovers (that really should be singular and not plural, as in lover; although I have had a few lovers truth be told as far as I'm aware there's only one who knows about and reads this blog - he's the best lover I've known, the best boyfriend I've ever had, I love him to bits xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.)

Tonight you find me tired, seriously dog tired and a little known fact for you dear readers - when I'm tired I do tend to babble on to some tune, you may guessed from the overly extended introductory paragraph and my baby knows this only too well. It's the same after I've had a few drinks of the alcoholic variety, the in between sober and drunk phase, that maybe dutch courage though, then again I think it's also the babbling phase - probably; it is now anyway because I don't need any dutch courage, I only go out with my baby these days. What am I going on about? You see I'm tired and I shouldn't really be blogging, there's nothing I really want to say, well there is but I don't have the time nor the mindset to complete it, whatever..............

Anyway apologies to those waiting on replies to emails from me, I really have had no time whatsoever, I've been busy doing all sorts; most of which have involved my boyfriend. I'll try my very best to get around to you in the very near future but you are in my thoughts and I'm not ignoring you. I'm glad to report my confidence has now returned, I'm a confidence player unfortunately - if I'm high on confidence you see the best of me, if I'm not you don't; and I say unfortunately because as you all know I'm real sensitive and easily hurt - my confidence can get knocked real easy. But the last couple of days have seen me back on form and I know my baby noticed it and was concerned about me over the weekend - I just wasn't my absolute normal self, but I am now - it's just a shame he's not here to witness it in person; but he knows anyway. I just want to thank him for noticing it and being concerned over me - that's real sweet, caring and understanding; I thought I was hiding it pretty well..............

I've been thinking about him throughout most of the day today, I always tend to think of him more when we've been apart for a day or two and I think it's a good thing; well of course it's a good thing to think of my baby at anytime but I guess it means I'm not taking him for granted. That's a seriously good thing because at times I am guilty of taking people for granted, thinking I can treat them any way I wish knowing that they'll always be there for me regardless; and it's a bad way to treat people. For some reason which I don't even want to understand I don't do that with him; I just don't, we've had our moments where I usually get upset or grumpy at the most insignificant thing but I've never taken him for granted. I guess he understands me and at times he has to treat me with cotton gloves; it's nothing to be proud of on my part, it's just me, but he's the one who keeps talking to me, when at times I don't deserve it or I'm unresponsive. He just helps me, he knows how I'm feeling without me having to say a word and he treats me accordingly; as a result I never feel threatened by him which is a minor miracle truth be told. I don't know how he does it, maybe it's with spending so much time with me, I guess it comes with time; that and the fact that he is the most caring and loving guy I've ever met.

So, I was thinking about all this today whilst at work, I don't know how it crept into my thoughts but it did and I'm glad it did because it just made me smile. I just love him for no other reason than for who he is; I love my boyfriend, I love to give him lots of hugs and kisses, I love to spend time with him. I love to go to bed with him, I love to have sex with him and I love to wake up with him next to me. I just love to see him happy because he makes me so happy.