Late

It's late and my baby has just gone off to bed, he's real tired and he's got work tomorrow. I love him when he's tired, either first thing in the morning when he's waking up or last thing at night when he's tired from the day; he's just so beautiful at those times, more so than ever. I think his innocence really shines through at such times, when he's not really thinking properly and is just kind of operating from memory; and it's a testament to him that when he is like that there's an aura of pureness around him. I don't know how to explain it any better, it's just that his actions, his words, his everything is just driven by his heart and his gut instinct rather than his thought process; it tells the story of his soul and like him it's beautiful. And we're not pure, neither of us, there's probably no one in the world who can say they are, we've all been afflicted by this world and this life in one form or another; but he's the closest person to pureness I've ever known. Whatever the world seems to throw at him he just shrugs it off, he doesn't let it infiltrate his soul and he keeps on smiling; he thinks nothing of it - I guess it's normal behaviour to him, but it's not, far from it. I get to see that each time we're together, it's so special and he's made me a much better person, I have a lot to be thankful for and I never take him nor the time we spend together for granted; because it is a gift.

I apologise for going on to some tune but I've had a drink tonight, we've both had a drink; it makes my tongue loose - it's very rare I blog after I've been drinking. I'm not working tomorrow and despite the crap week I endured at work last week now I wish I was because it means it would be normal and I'd get to see my baby. It pains me, I'm going to miss him so much, how I hate goodbyes even if they are only temporary; and I know he'll smile tomorrow morning, he'll tell me everything will be alright, time will pass so quickly and that he loves me but it doesn't help. He's right, of course he's right, I'm just a sensitive soul and stuff like this affects me way too much; and I guess it's worse because he's cheered me up so much this weekend, he's just turned my world around and now I'm going to leave him.

I don't know, I shouldn't be telling you this really, there's no relevance and it's not helping me but just look out for him boys and girls, keep my baby safe from harm until I return. I know Rach will and I know she'll be looking forward to spending some quality time with my baby; thanks for being there for him, you know how I feel, it means so much. I love you all, I'll see you later, goodbye xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

Extra hugs and kisses for my sweetheart, I love you to bits xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox.