Numbers

I wasn't going to post tonight, I'm feeling real tired and to be honest I only really checked in to catch up on some of the blogs I follow - I've kind of lost touch with them over the weekend. I was kind of busy, I didn't have the time, besides there was someone else occupying my time and my mind - he's beautiful and he's my boyfriend, enough said don't you think? Apart from the fact that I love you babes xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox. Regardless of the fact if you've been keeping up with the blog you'll have a notion of what we've been up to anyway, I'm hardly shy in dispensing the facts; and that's probably another reason why I wasn't going to post. I've posted like a man possessed over the weekend but then again we had a lot going on and it's no surprise that I post so much during such times because it's always when I'm with my baby. That's when I'm at my best, that's when we have fun, that's when we do things and that's what gives me the stuff to write about on here. So tonight I was going to give myself a rest besides today was just a regular day back at work with little to stimulate my mind and soul; until.........

I checked the blogs I follow and for some reason I delved back into my blog archive and to my total and utter surprise found out it's one year old; on the 19 October 2008 I gave birth to this here blog and posted my first entries. It's my blogs first birthday, crack open the champagne and let the party begin! Maybe not but it is awesome, one whole year, 365 days and on most of them I've taken out a little time from my day to update it. And I've just read some of my first entries again, dear me how it's changed over time and how I've changed over time - it started off so innocently! It would be a lie if I said the same for me because I was far from innocent, I guess those days went well before the internet was invented!

But I have changed, back then I was a closeted gay-boy - absolutely no one knew that I was gay barring the guys I'd slept with of course. I was shy, somewhat unhappy, untrusting and single too. This blog helped me out - it really was my therapy to begin with, it was my own little secret where I could write down my thoughts and get them out of my system - none of my friends knew I was writing it at the time. I wrote it as honestly as I could, I came out as gay on here to any stranger who happened across it - it's easier to talk to strangers isn't it? Then, I don't know, I got comfortable with the idea of writing my thoughts on here and I became brave. I also met this beautiful guy who helped me too, he helped me to truly accept my sexuality and to see it wasn't something to be ashamed of. He taught me that such things are what made me just that, me; and as human beings we cannot help who we find attractive even if they happened to be of the same sex. To suppress such was just being unkind and untrue to myself, my friends and my family. So I began to take those first steps and gingerly came out to tell the world I was gay; I used this blog too during the process, for when words didn't come easy.

And now, well look what I've turned into and look what this blog has turned into - shadows of our former selves. 1,400 profile views, 456 posts and close on 1,800 blog visitors later I'm happy, confident, openly gay, proud of that fact and this blog has just turned into a journal of mostly sexually related antics. In under a year there's been just a major upheaval in my life, it's been turned on his head; that's a real short period of time, it's quite unbelievable. And the friends I've made along the way, such as girlfriend, Big I, Gill, Rach and all the others who have helped and supported me on this journey; not to mention all those out there in Blogger World who have been a part of this too. You've been great, seriously you've helped me more than I could say, in everything I am at this moment in time you're all in there; the laughter, the tears, the good and the bad times - you've always been there. Thank you, I love you all xxxxxxxxxxxx.

And that beautiful guy I met along the way? The one who I was so shy and introverted with? The one who kept on trying to break through the barriers I made? The one who continued to talk to me even when I wouldn't answer his emails and calls? The one who made me see that just being true to myself is the greatest gift in life? He turned into the greatest gift in my life, he stood with me every step of the way, he just loved me for who I was, nothing more, just me. He's my boyfriend, he's beautiful, he makes me smile and he fills my heart and soul with love. Happy Birthday, this blog is for you babes, all of it - I love you to bits (and I'm crying) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox.