Why cant.......

......... everyone be like my boyfriend? And I don't mean to say why can't everyone understand me, love me and treat me kindly because I appreciate that's all but impossible; besides I don't want everyone to love me - my boyfriends love is more than enough. But what's so wrong with wanting to be treated with dignity, humanity and respect? Particularly so by the people I spend a great deal of my time with; too much to be honest if today has been anything to go by!

Today - working and I'd had a great day up until late afternoon; a pleasant, happy smiley day that soon took a turn for the worst. I don't ask a lot at work, I go about my job, do what's expected of me and try my very best to inject some fun and sunshine into those I pass along the way. In return I wish to be treated in a civil manner by my colleagues, that's all; it appears it's too much to expect. I just don't understand why people actually set out with the intention of saying or doing something that they know is offensive and will cause suffering; why do people do that? What kind of mindset must such people have and what kind of life must they lead whereupon they gain enjoyment by causing others pain? Can anyone answer that? Because I have serious trouble in even beginning to try and understand it. Why cannot people just leave others be? If someone's happy in their life why cannot it be celebrated and rejoiced? Why must they always try to wipe that smile of the face of the beholder? It makes me want to cry in desperation - not for myself but for the utter pity certain corners of society contain.

Why must those that know I'm gay make accusations that I am the father of a child of a pregnant mother? Do they not understand such accusations cause me offence. Why must those that know my mother refer to her with such demeaning terminology that I almost walked? Why must I have to get home from work and phone my boyfriend to gain some relief from all this crap? The answer to the last question is easy - because I can; because I find safety and refuge there, where I know I will come to no harm and my mind will be eased. Because he sees the world so much more clearly, because he's level headed, because he's wise beyond his years, because he cares for me and loves me.

He made a difference - this post would have been a whole lot different without speaking to him; the rest of my evening would have been a whole lot different too. He can't change the bigoted minds of others but he can change mine with a few carefully chosen words spoken in a familiar hushed tone. It's a gift, he's my certainty in an uncertain world, my sunshine on a cloudy day, my smile that cannot be broken. He told me to stop playing the sad music he heard in the background - I did; he's my baby, my sweetheart xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.