Truths told

Truth be told Blogger world when I returned home yesterday from my week with the folks I felt lost and lonely. Returning home to an empty house without company really struck me, which is very unusual; I mean such times do not normally affect me at all, in fact I'm normally happy to get some solace and time alone after a week of incessant company. But it hurt, I kept myself busy for a while but once I'd done what I needed to do I kind of felt the silence and the loneliness; it was so bad I watched television!

I had it in mind to blog some more posts about my week away because there's one thing in particular I needed to share but I just wasn't in the right frame of mind; it would have been tainted by melancholy. I knew in advance my boyfriend was unable to visit me yesterday after I got home which is cool because we both have our own lives and commitments to fulfil. But what I would have given for him to be with me, I don't think there's any price you could care to name that I wouldn't have gladly paid. We spoke for the longest time on the telephone last night and truth be told he did cheer me up some - it was good to hear his voice and to feel connected again but I didn't tell him how I was truly feeling. Not because I wanted to hide it from him nor that he wouldn't understand but simply because I didn't want to appear selfish; here's me just returned from a week away leaving my boyfriend alone throughout and now I was back, alone and feeling lonely it wouldn't have been right to go on about it, to make him feel like he had to come around and save me. Does that make sense? It was strange...........

And I know that when he reads this he's not going to best pleased with me for bottling it up and not telling him but I thought it was for the best. Besides I survived and I'm now returning to some sense of normality with my feet planted firmly back in reality so there's no harm done. Anyway the wait is almost over, I may cry when I see him.........