Creatures

As you may have gathered blogger friends I have been, and continue to be, in a calm, relaxed and reflective mood of late. I guess it's down to being pretty much on my own at work this week, I've been left to my own devices without any distractions which has left me with time to think and daydream. It's been great to be honest and whereas when I normally find myself with time to think things over it often drags me down, this week I've only been thinking nice thoughts. Even during the times when my boyfriend and I can't be together (this week his work schedule has been most unkind to us) I've filled the down time with posting my thoughts on here. I re-read last nights post about my favourite pants and I love how I've been so honest and open with my most intimate feelings - just writing down the thoughts I have in my head no matter how bizarre or nonsensical they may appear. Tonight is no different............

Aren't guys the most wonderful creatures in the world? Gosh, they are the sweetest, cutest and most loveable things ever; I was watching random guys at work today, studying them, not in an act of lust nor sexually related, but just their form and their features. Each one different, each one unique but just so perfect - the cute ones anyway! I am so happy to be gay, to be able to appreciate them in this way and to have such feelings towards them. I just so love going to the gay village with my boyfriend and watching guys make out with each other, we've talked about this in the past, it is such a beautiful sight - forget any sexual connotations, it's like a moment of pureness. I guess straight people will not understand such emotion, it will be kind of lost on them but an intimate moment shared between two guys is heavenly - you would have no idea how tender two guys can be - it shatters many a conceived notion.

But listening to straight couples and friends I'm unsure if this traverses the boundary or is the sole preserve of the gay male. Straight males appear to get a bad press from their female counterparts for whatever reason - they don't appear to get on too well and often appear incompatible to me. Furthermore, where gay males are often criticised for being so sensitive (well I am anyway) straight males are often criticised for being so insensitive and abrasive; so perhaps the traversal of boundaries between straight and gay is lost. Which is a shame - I guess the straight male has lost touch with his feminine side - so much beauty and no feeling, they maybe nice to look at but thereafter..........................

Not that I'll ever know because I could never change my sexuality nor any other part of myself; I'm the happiest I have been in the longest time. My sensitivity, my femininity and everything else is such a gift - it's what makes me, me; I'm just so comfortable with myself even on the occasions I find myself ridiculed because of it. I'm not perfect, I know that implicitly - but I'll forgo perfection anytime to just feel like this.