Coleslaw

I'm tired blogger world, desperately tired both mentally and physically - I honestly think this has been the cause of my continuing unhappiness at work. It's made me uncommunicative, distant, irritable and super sensitive; it's been that bad I've lost my cool on a couple of occasions which is mega rare. Hence, stuff I would normally just shrug off has stuck with me and made me unhappy; and as I don't like being unhappy, well it's been playing on my mind........

The weekend can't come around quickly enough, I've been urging it on since early this week and it's not helped, the days have just dragged and dragged - but isn't that always the way when you're looking forward to something so much? To just enjoy a couple of days away from work and a couple of days with my boyfriend to do what we want, when we want in complete and utter privacy without any interruptions or harassment will be bliss. The thought makes me happy, he makes me happy and I know it will make all this suffering seem worthwhile.

You know he's spent the past couple of nights on the phone to me making sure I'm okay and cheering me up; and one thing struck me cold. It's not the fact that he's very kind, thoughtful and selfless because I know that already and I appreciate it so very much, it was something far more subtle. It struck me that during times when I find it difficult to navigate myself through this world, when I find it difficult to see or make sense of the things going on around me; he guides me to safety. I kid you not and I don't think I can explain it any better but his advice and words of comfort help me immensely, despite the problems occurring in my own little world and in my own mind, his words ring so true. I guess he knows me better than I do myself, I mean I'm not an easy guy to understand and get to know, particularly when things are troubling me. To be honest it humbled me because it made me realise how far we have come, together, I love him very much.

I went shopping in Marks & Spencer today and found myself putting a tub of coleslaw in my basket, it put a smile on my face and was one of brighter times of my day. Isn't it amazing what a tub of coleslaw can do? I've never been so happy to see a tub of coleslaw in my shopping basket before...................