Unfamiliar

I arrived for work this morning still feeling like a bag of crap, in a bad mood because of it and not wishing to talk to anyone; I'm a real nice guy when I'm feeling under the weather. Anyway after two hours I was sent home because of my illness and I've spent a few hours in bed, now I'm alone and kind of bored. 

Big I retired from work yesterday and in the short space of time I've been in work today, the difference without her has been noticeable. It wasn't really on my mind to be honest but after a couple of minutes in the office the sense that something was not quite right and someone was missing was quite tangible. It was something more than the fact that I could not see her in the office nor hear her talking; there was something different, it felt different, like the office had been rearranged, does that make sense? Like things had been moved about or not put back in the right place; I guess some sense of familiarity has been lost along with Big I. 

Which is kind of remarkable for me because I am very cold and clinical when it comes to work colleagues moving on in life. The way I always view it is that people move on eventually, regardlessly, for whatever reason; it's just a fact of life and there's no getting away from it. Because I know this I don't let it get to me emotionally nor does it ever surprise; besides if I got upset when anyone ever left my life I'd be an emotional wreck.

But still Big I was cool and she was more than a colleague - she was a friend, a smoking buddy, a singing buddy; and she always had my best interests at heart. I often thought of her as my surrogate Mother - seriously, a woman I respected and throughout the years we worked together I can never recall a crossed word between us. 

Happy retirement Big I, may your days be filled with love, laughter and sunshine xxxxxxxxxx.