Tart

As well as pretending to be ten-men today I've also been pretending to be a tart, okay I know I've no need to pretend to be! Let's say I've been acting the tart and flirting like mad with women today; for some reason I find it so funny to flirt with women. Obviously it's harmless fun, if any one of them took the bait I would seriously run for my life, but they all know me and take it as it's meant to be - a joke.

So I asked to see Tracy's puppies, invited Ellie round for tea, told Mary her breasts were all wet, had finger sex with Stacey (that sounds worse than it is trust me) asked Sid if he fancied a snog (Sid is a guy I know but it was harmless flirting - he's way old) and flirted in general with Jackie and Di. Di had a t-shirt on advertising the products they sell and I jokingly said, "have you got a t-shirt that would suit me?" The next time I passed the shop, hey presto one t-shirt especially for me, thank you very much!

All was going well laughing and joking with the ladies until Di says something that's like a red rag to a bull; "I want to see a photo of you wearing it." Oh my, like I need encouragement, like I need an excuse; then came the instant realisation of what would look so good with a skinny, crop fit t-shirt. That's where the photos below were born, in a moment of madness, from a silly comment on a sunny Tuesday afternoon at work. So what did I choose to partner my newly acquired black, skinny, crop fit t-shirt? Well, my white PVC hot pants of course! What a perfect combination! Did I not tell you I was a tart?