A laughing matter

Good evening dear readers, I trust I find you all happy and well? May I take this opportunity to thank my boyfriend very much for helping me through a minor household disaster during the past 24 hours. I know boyfriends are supposed to care and love for another but I think mine went beyond the cause - seriously. Perhaps it was just good fortune that he was around last night but it still does not disguise the hard work and assistance he selflessly gave to help dig me out of a hole.

You see last night, we went upstairs to make love, and I mean make love, it was so gentle, slow and sensual - almost poetic in its' act; and gosh he kept me on the boil for so long before allowing me to explode in ecstasy. But before we went upstairs I took care of some household chores and put the washing machine on. By the time we'd finished and kissed, cuddled, come back down from heaven and recovered I nipped downstairs thinking the washing would be finished too....................

Well, the washing machine was well into it's spin cycle but it wasn't spinning and the drum was still full of water, how strange I thought. I turned the programme round to drain and nothing, turned it round to spin and nothing; I tried just about every single programme to attempt to make it kick into action but it just kept on going through the washing cycle relentlessly. It began to upset me, I tried swearing and kicking the washing machine but that didn't help either. Alerted by my dramatic antics my boyfriend joined me in the kitchen - he tried the cycles, tried draining and spinning - nothing, he didn't go as far as me and so didn't kick nor swear at it - he's the one with the even head and temperament. Nevertheless we were getting nowhere fast, it was quite obvious the washing machine was, to put it politely, broken. So what do you do with a washer full of clothes and water that you can't get out? You use the emergency drain on the front causing a minor disaster.........................

We had buckets and towels ready to catch the water from the drum but why do they position the emergency drain so close to the ground? It's so low it's useless, you can't get a bucket underneath it to catch the water; and we didn't realise how much water the washing machine holds - trust me it's a lot! I undid the emergency drain and regardless of the fact that you can't get a bucket under it to catch it, if we'd have had ten buckets it wouldn't have been enough. Water shot and spilled everywhere except into the bucket, all over the kitchen floor and all over us, hence we spent the best part an hour drying and cleaning up - not the best post-sex ritual ever invented nor the best way to spend a Friday night; it took us until eleven o'clock at night to finish. But if I'd have been on my own it would have overwhelmed and upset me to some tune - I'd have lost some serious cool, so thanks again to my boyfriend - who found humour in the circumstance of two mostly naked guys fresh from having sex on bended hands and knees in the kitchen; and began laughing as the water was washing around my kitchen and over us. We ended up in hysterics and perhaps made the situation worse as we were in no state to concentrate our attention on the spilling water due to laughing - the more we and the kitchen got soaked the funnier we found it. 

I was working the following morning and one of the major benefits of working in the Town Centre is that I'm surrounded by shops, so early morning I nipped into Westgate to partake in a bit of essential retail therapy and my luck began to change. They had a sale on so I picked up a £300 washing machine for £180, got it delivered by lunchtime courtesy of the works pick-up van and spent the evening when I got home from work setting it up; all done and dusted within 24 hours  - washing away like a dream and like nothing has happened! It's a cracker too, all electronic programming, variable spin and temperature, a 7 kg payload, automatic water fill depending on the load, double A class, anti-crease, delicate, wool and hand wash cycles (for all my lingerie). You can tell I'm well disciplined in the arts of household care can't you? A proper gay-boy, I'll make a nice wife to some lucky guy one day!

Anyway thanks again boyfriend for all your help and for turning a no laughing matter into quite the opposite; I promise I'll make it up to you - it will be fun! Love, hugs and kisses to you xoxoxoxo.