Party tricks

Good evening dear readers, for those whom have been keeping up with the posts on here and/or know me personally, you will realise I've been kind of brave or stupid this week depending on how you wish to look at it. 

My first party trick was to get my ear pierced which went down like a lead balloon with the Management at work yesterday, when it was finally noticed in the late afternoon. How can such a tiny stud cause so much drama? You would have no idea, trust me. The crux of the matter was the earring had to go, I wasn't told directly, it came via s second party; which leads to the question why was I not informed directly? Still, I knew it would come, do you remember my run-in with the nail varnish? Yes, so not cool on my behalf, I kind of lost it slightly then. This time I didn't get upset or let it bother me, in fact I took the matter into my own hands and went to see the Manager. I explained the situation and I empathised with his point of view on it; and I advised him it had to remain in my ear for 6 weeks whilst it healed, so if possible could I continue to wear it and cover it with a plaster or tape. Once healed the earring would be removed and not be worn again to work - no problem, thank you very much.

My second party trick was to visit the doctors last night and have a steroid injection in the ganglion on my left wrist. Man, am I paying for that choice of treatment; it's been hurting like hell for most of the day and continues to do so. It's like having cramp in your wrist and each time I bang my wrist against anything - do I know about it. It's so tender to touch and slightly bruised which is, I guess, from the injection; so I hope it settles and soon. I'm sure it would have been less painful to have the thing surgically removed, but you live and learn. That may still be the option if the injection does not work; the ganglion has gone down slightly but it appears to have spread - it's like it's been squashed out. 

With all this bravery coursing through my veins (or is that steroids?) I decided to go for my third party trick during my lunch today. This would be the icing on the cake, my piece de resistance, a party trick to end all party tricks! You see my parents did not know I was gay, I have never found the nerve to tell them; and besides I did not see any difference it could possibly make - I'm their son/stepson and that's it. Not that I thought they would not understand or disown me or anything, it just seemed pointless - an embarrassment I could do without. On the other hand it always seemed a little underhanded on my behalf in not being truthful to them regardless of the point of it. So, today I corrected this small matter........

And how do you tell your Mum you're gay? Well, towards the end of the telephone conversation I said, "Oh by the way I thought you might like to know that I'm kind of gay!" Serious, as I'm sitting here writing this to you, that's what I said, that's how I came out to my Mum. Now, the I'm kind of gay bit, may be a bit of understatement admittedly - but I thought I'd take it one step at a time. If I'd continued and said, "and I've let loads of men shag me - some of whom I could not even recall their names the morning after" it may have tipped her over the edge. Her darling son being a cock crazy man whore would be a step too far to begin with. 

So after the initial shock I think it all went as well as could be expected, then came the embarrassing questions; are you seeing anyone? Where's he from? How old is he? - Oh fuck! - my thought and not my Mums; although I'm sure my Mum meant the same thing with her reply! But still, through it all I got the impression, my Mums just looking out for me, keeping my best interests at heart, making sure I'm playing safe and not getting hurt. That's what Mums do isn't it? And they never stop doing it, regardlessly? They never stop giving their love to their children - it's a beautiful thing to behold. 

So I phoned my Mum again tonight we're still speaking and my step dad now knows too ; I appreciate it may have been a shock to them and there may be some uncomfortable moments ahead, but it will pass - as it did at work and with my friends, it will just become the norm. And come the end of the day that's all it is; I am still me, nothings changed in that respect. I fancy men - that's not a party trick, it's my normal.

But I feel much better for telling them, for finally finding the nerve to do it, it's been a weight lifted. It's always been there in the back of my mind niggling away. No matter how much of a shock it may have been they deserve the truth, if nothing else; and for all the help, support and love they have given selflessly over the years, they deserve the truth. Perhaps they weren't expecting the pay-back to come in such a manner but, as my boyfriend and girlfriend have quite rightly said in the past, I do like to shock people occasionally. Today has most definitely been one of those occasions. xxxx