Lessons learned

The post from last night has gone, it's been deleted; and for very good reasons. I upset my best friend with that post; seriously upset her. It wasn't even directed at her but with me ignoring text messages and all, I can see where the link was made.

To see her so hurt from what I had done, regardless of whether it was meant or not, just tore me apart. It shattered my heart and soul; and I thought our friendship was irretrievable, gone. I have never felt so low in recent memory, I cannot put into words the sorrow I was feeling to see my best friend like that, to see our friendship on the verge of ruins. If I had been anywhere else I would have cried, I swear I would have cried, not for me, but for her. 

Because I love her to bits and I think the world of her; and I hate to see her without a smile on her face. But to know it was me that caused her smile to disappear was the worst possible feeling in the world. She is the bestest friend anyone in the world could ever have for a million and one reasons; reasons you do not need to know about blogger world. Save to say she always has my best interests at heart, makes me smile, allows me to be myself and never, ever judges me or my life. 

She is also incredibly forgiving and I think I'm correct in saying, sees the truth in me even when I find it difficult to convey. Today I was forgiven, thank-goodness I was forgiven; for a short time I was lost, totally, hopelessly and utterly lost. I do not even want to think what it would have been like without my best friend in my life and I never, ever want to revisit that scene again. Today I learnt some very good lessons, friends bring sunshine into your life and a best friend tries their very best to make sure the sunshine never ends. The days would be dark and fearful without that sunshine, I never want to experience that feeling, I never want to lose my best friend. 

Gosh, I love you so much and I'm so very sorry for upsetting you. I wish I could turn back time and erase this chapter completely, to see you upset was heartbreaking. Whilst I have air to breathe I will try my best to bring sunshine into your life too. I never, ever want to find myself apologising to you again. I cannot see now for the tears, thanks for always being there, it means the world to me..............

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