Awkwardness

Today I was working and I was incredibly unsociable, not in a nasty way but I just did not feel comfortable mixing with people. I kept myself to myself and it turned out to be a long and boring day as a result. Sometimes... I don't know - I guess I just need to be alone sometimes. As much as I enjoy being around people for the most part there are times they fail to inspire me or I don't want to talk to them. So, I'm sorry if any of my friends got the cold shoulder at work today, it's nothing personal. No-one upset me either and I'm not feeling down so there's no need to misinterpret this. 

I think the problem lies a couple of days back - I've been fielding some awkward questions from other people at work recently. Questions about my sexuality - here follows the contradiction; I share loads of stuff with you blogger world and I've not been shy in admitting I'm gay to you and many others I know personally. But, although I know the people who've been asking the questions I just don't know them enough, does that make sense? I don't trust them, it takes a lot for me to trust people, to let them into my life, to be truthful. Besides they don't know me that well either, they're not my friends and neither I nor them have anything to gain by answering such questions. So why bother, you know?

I guess people can ask and expect too much of me at times, those that do not know me personally anyway. I just don't understand their motives at times. I'm a guy they see walking past their shops, I call in and chat to them occasionally, it's my job - I'm friendly and sociable without being overly personable with them. But that does not give them the right to know every single minute detail about my private life. 

So I didn't know how to answer their questions, I didn't want to lie but I didn't want to tell the truth either, I just felt uncomfortable with the whole affair. In the end I evaded the questions completely because I think it may have got out of hand; they may have overstepped the boundaries that I find acceptable. I lost a bit of confidence through it. I needed a day without any further questions of that nature, I can still be shy, that's all.