Resolutions?

Another question via email, I didn't know I had so many followers, there is only one registered but I guess you follow it via RSS. Anyway thanks for taking the time.

Have I made any New Year resolutions? In a word no, not really. I never do, I mean why make these promises that you could never commit to in the long run, you know? It will only lead to disappointment. I would like to cut down on my smoking, I mentioned it earlier today, but if that happens it will be on the spur of the moment, I'll wake up and think I don't need this and try to stop. I'm a spur of the moment kind of guy, I don't really plan ahead a great deal, I prefer to just take it as it comes. Plans go wrong or I end up meddling with them or thinking on them too much and I can come up with a myriad of excuses to dismiss them. 

I don't like New Year either, all the fuss and commotion for what? I just don't get it, it's good to see family and all, but barring that it means nothing, it's just the passing of time, of another year. Perhaps if you've had a particularly bad year then yes, celebrate a new one with new beginnings, I can understand why people would do that, but me, no I don't think like that.

Perhaps what I will try to do is to be less shy, more brave, it can hold me back. I like the trait but it would be nice to be more open, I have already made progress and if you've kept up with the blog it speaks for itself. But there are still times when I should just say what need's to be said. Take the post from yesterday for example, it was a simple compliment and I got all shy and bashful over it; and there's no need. I have a friend that is hot and sexy and I think they should know that. It's no big deal, hopefully they'll be flattered, I have nothing to gain from it.

I guess I don't want to appear to be overbearing, something like that anyway. 

Sometimes I feel that I post too much nice stuff on here, like my friends are so wonderful and all. But I have never thought twice about posting the darker stuff on here and I know I should celebrate all the nice people and places my life takes me, but, I don't know - it's stupid. I worry over the stupidest things, there we go, I should try and not worry over such trivial matters. It is good to say thanks to friends, to let them know they mean something, why not tell them? 

So there we go, these are not my resolutions, just things that would make me a better person. No promises, but you never know.

I guess all in all I should just learn to let it all go more often, I am much better, more real when I just don't think, when I just live in the moment, when I just live for me - it makes me human.

One good thing I have done today, that has troubled me some for being so ignorant, is to reply to a guy who has been messaging me for the longest time. I've ignored him throughout because he's older than me, sad isn't it? So I have rectified the error of my ways and replied to his last message, said sorry and all for being such a ..... whatever. There's no harm at all in talking to him, in being polite and replying to his messages, if nothing else it's common courtesy.