Gay cigarettes, sir?

I smoke cigarettes, it is bad for me, but I continue to do it, it is my choice. I know the government is trying real hard to convince people like me to stop. It is a difficult and complex scenario but sometimes they need to think outside of the box, to ultimately get the message across. I think I have found the answer, seriously. 

The other day I purchased 20 cigarettes and as we all know the packaging now has various health warnings on it about how the product can harm you. The photo above is the health warning I received on my packaging, "Smoking can damage the sperm and decreases fertility". I am 36 years old, I am gay and I do not like children; such a warning does not instill fear into my soul, it does not make me want to run to the nearest chemist and purchase a smoking cessation kit. This makes a mockery of the health warnings, it makes them useless. 

Here's the answer, why not make straight and gay health warnings on cigarette packets. I imagine the health warning I received on my packet of cigarettes may have struck fear into a straight guy hoping to start a family with his little darling wife; it would make him think twice wouldn't it? Do you see my point? All I have to do now is get to work on some gay health warnings. 

But should I succeed, the next time you're in the local newsagents and you ask for 20 cigarettes, don't be surprised if the question "would that be straight or gay cigarettes, sir?" is asked. Remember where you read it first folks, this is a winning idea.