Mercy

I messed up big time with someone yesterday, someone who has been a real good friend to me. My actions sometimes belie my heart and I know everyone makes mistakes; but it was so, so bad.

They were going through some real bad stuff and they trusted me enough to confide in me and my reaction was heartless. I upset them, I didn't mean to. But I think if the tables had been turned I would probably never speak to them again. 

The guilt that followed was remorseless and I confided my regret with other people, I needed repentance. Mercifully my apologies were accepted and we got on okay thereafter. I am a good person, I know that; and I have differing views to others on a wide range of issues, but there is a time and a place to air those views and yesterday was not one of them. 

My friends are so good to me and I repay them with hurt and distress, I need to learn restraint, to stay within acceptable boundaries - as they often have to with me; or learn to live without friends. Why people keep accepting me back is a mystery.

I am so very sorry, I find myself apologising way too much. I have not let this get me down although the awkward silences often speak volumes. Please do not persecute me, even if I do sometimes appear to deserve it.