Why...?

When I woke up this morning the dark clouds that threatened my mood had thankfully passed on by. I've had a good day, I am happy with the world, happy with myself and overjoyed at the fact that I could look up and see blue sunny skies today. I do not like being unhappy, but once I find myself heading down it can take a very long time to resurface.

And I took time out to read what I had written last night; and it kind of shocked me. I am well aware I am susceptible to mood swings (isn't everyone?); but when you write down exactly how you're feeling at that moment in time and then look back upon it; you have a no holds barred record of your mindset. 

Which leads me onto my first email I have received through this blog. Someone asked me why put your life out to air for anyone with an internet connection and the inclination to do so, to read?

Well ...... why not? That's not a good enough answer is it?

I guess I have always enjoyed writing, in the past this has encompassed poetry, whereupon I tried to breakdown the human condition, including mine, into minute detail. Question why people do terrible things? Why do we love? What happens when that love breaks down? But I have not written any poetry for about six years, however, recently I got the itch again to write again, but without any inspiration I looked elsewhere. I have had an odd love affair with blogs, mostly through Damien Jurado; so decided to give it a go.

And it started off blandly enough and that is all it was meant to be, random thoughts from a random life. Then it kind of grew into something else, a bit of a journey through life. I finally admitted my sexual persuasion after a long time trying to suppress it; and it was easy to write it down in the blog because no-one close to me knew I was writing it. They may have stumbled across it whilst surfing but the chances were slim; hence anyone who took the time to read it would not know me. All in all it did turn into a personal travelogue of my life and I found it therapeutic, instead of letting the thoughts build up in my mind, I'd write them down, things that made me happy, things that made me sad, things that troubled me; just the things in life that affected me. 

I wanted it to be a true reflection and I think I have stuck closely to that ideal; and it's good to look back upon and trace the recent events of my life; see how I have changed over this short space of time, but more importantly should I carry on with the blog, how I may change over the longer period, say in a year. 

So, and I hope I have answered the question precisely enough, that is why I put my life out to air. To help myself, to provide a record of my life to look back upon; and if anyone else wants to come along for the ride - be it strangers, friends, colleagues or family, well, welcome aboard. The only prerequisite? You do not judge me. Fair enough?