It makes sense.... kind of?

Latish last night whilst having nothing else to do and nothing to write about here (how strange!) I stumbled across a blog by Ryan Adams, singer-songwriter, for those not familiar. He's released some great albums, one particular being in my top whatever, "Heartbreaker"; which I own on CD and 2 different vinyl versions - overkill? I guess so. Saw him live at the Manchester Apollo last year too, and I was truly amazed at what a great frontman he is; he really lives the songs and music, very charismatic. 

Anyway I read his blog, I think it's only been going a few days, and it was a revelation. It is, at times,  a very personal account of his life, his issues, problems and mindset. And it kind of brought me back to my life in some respects, my issues, problems and mindset which I have documented to some degree on here. And I have often been slightly uncomfortable with living my life out on here, the personal issues and problems I face have always remained so, up until discovering this blog tool. I guess it's the battle to face new frontiers in many aspects of my life.

So pondering on this today at work, I thought if someone in the limelight, who earns his living by being out there in the public eye can write this personal account of his life, then why can't a normal everyday guy like me do it? There is no reason, none at all. Furthermore when you read such a first hand account of a person you admire and look to through their music and read their faults and fears you realise that perhaps you are not alone in this respect. 

Perhaps, everyone has similar issues and problems but some deal with or hide it better than me; or have a partner to offload their fears upon. And the way I now choose to deal with my demons is to exorcise them out on this blog, rather than letting them build up inside and take over my life. Maybe no one reads the words I type into this machine, it does not matter much; because, and I touched upon this earlier within my blog, it is therapy. If nothing else it helps me sort out some of the weird stuff that goes on in my head and I think it works; I think I have become a better, more open person because of it. I am far from perfect, can still be reticent, shy and hard work at times but it's becoming better. 

And I love blogging, perhaps it takes up some of the time where I would be aimlessly lost and thinking about stuff too much, way too much. It keeps me from the television too which is never a bad thing. Head on over and check out Ryan's blog, the link is on my profile page. Here follows a taste of it which struck a chord with me and made me think it's okay to be a little screwed up with life and yourself; be comfortable with it, I am not alone. Thanks R XXX.

Infinity Blues is back from the printing house. I saw it today as I signed a milliondy copies and the cool insert book “sad american mythology” it would have left me speecheless but i sat there from early a.m til almost 4 rushhour something signing them all in one sitting

i am terrified and excited also. proud and scared. 

this is the closest to the bone i ever cut into my verse, into my life.

i am proud

but also wants to crawl under the covers forever…..

i just hope it helps people know they aren’t the only ones trapped inside their good and their bad daydreams

and

if nothing else, we are never alone- we’re here together somehow.

and also,

if my dumb ass poorly educated hack can do it, then so can YOU

sing your life……

you’re all so beautiful

and

i never meant anyone was an experiment

i suppose this sharing of feelings are

and

i hope they yield only one thing….

hope.

hope and a hanging-in as my pal michele say’s

she is a sunshine

and

so are you.

bless us all on the holidays

alone, sober, lost, too much,

and

well

just human every time we let it go and

let it out/

XXXX

R