Friends...

It's been a strange couple of days from a personal perspective; and I continue to learn new things, things that I have should learned a long time time ago perhaps. But better late than never I guess.

Anyway I've never been a big on trust, I find it real difficult to trust people, to talk about my personal life my hopes, dreams and fears. As previously written I am a very shy guy and can be a real introvert; and in the process of this I may be guilty of pushing those that actually care about me (to some degree) away when I feel threatened by their good natured advances. I have never made a concerted effort to forge good, lasting friendships; preferring instead to drift in and out as and when I please. I often refer to myself as ethereal.

Since Mat and Angharad found out about my sexual tendencies; the fact that I find other men attractive, weird stuff has happened to me. I think I have opened up myself to some degree towards them, let them into this secret world I live in. I have told them things about my personal life, that I wouldn't have done normally; things that I have told no other person - be it family, friends, colleagues, people I have known a whole lot longer than Mat and Angharad.

I guess I am in the process of learning to trust them, and fundamentally it's a big step forward for me.

Furthermore, I have found it a real useful aid, after all this could be a major turnaround in my life and my sexuality. And it's been real good to talk to them about my feelings and thoughts because it also helps me to understand what I am going through and where I stand; perhaps even take some sort of burden off my shoulders.

And through it all they have never judged or ridiculed me, to the contrary they have been supportive and understanding; and I think even happy for me.

Friends eh? They're good to have around.